How to Steal a Filly
by Matthais Unidostres
Summary: After giving it a lot of thought and gathering some information, Rainbow Dash decides to become Scootaloo's sole guardian. However, Scootaloo's mom is still around, so Rainbow Dash has to get her to give up custody of the adorable little squirt. Luckily, Rainbow Dash has the perfect plan for that.


_******Author's Note:**_

_It might be a good idea to read "Happy Hearth's Warming Eve, Squirt" by nygiants93 before you read this story. It isn't really a sequel or anything, but there are certain important connections between the two, and that story inspired this one, and reading that one will make the actions and choices made by the characters in this story seem more logical and understandable._

* * *

Rainbow Dash took a deep breath as she stood outside Scootaloo's house. _"Come on, you're Rainbow Dash! You can do anything! This will be a piece of cake!"_ Dash thought, desperately trying to psyche herself up. But truth was, she was nervous. She was extremely nervous about what she was about to do. It wasn't that she thought it was wrong. She had long since passed that stage. At this time, she was twenty-one hundred percent sure that she was doing the right thing, or at least the thing that would help things work out the best for everypony involved.

Rainbow Dash had spent weeks preparing for this day. In her saddle bags were everything she needed for this endeavor. She had accounted for every possible outcome. It was just like planning a fancy air show, or setting up a Sonic Rainboom. Rainbow Dash had analyzed all the angles. All she had to do was not chicken out, and her plan should work perfectly.

_"You **need** to do this,"_ she thought to herself. She took another deep breath, held it in, and let it out.

"Okay," she said aloud to herself. And then, she knocked on the door. She waited a minute. Then another minute. She knocked again, this time harder. Again, no response. She then began pounding on the door and shouted, "Hello! Anypony home!"

This time, she got a response. "Yeah, yeah, hold on, I'm coming," an exhausted sounding voice said. Rainbow Dash ground her teeth at the retarded sounding tone the voice carried. The door was unlocked, and pulled open. There, standing in front of Rainbow Dash, was a mare with a coat colored similar to Twilight Sparkle. The mare had a two tone mane of dark purple and violet, and her Cutie Mark depicted a light pink flower with a purple heart in the middle.

"Yesh," the mare slurred.

Rainbow Dash stuck to her plan and put all her mental relaxation lessons she learned from Twilight to use. "Hi there. I mean, good afternoon ma'am. There's something I need to talk to you about. May I come in?"

The mare blinked her eyes a few times as she focused on Rainbow Dash. Then she nodded and said, "Yeah. . come in on. . .uh come in on. . .uh come _on in._"

Rainbow Dash held onto her smile as she walked into the house. She had to keep herself from whistling in shock as she surveyed the huge mess the house was in. There was dust, dirt, cobwebs, and empty take out containers all over the place. There were also brown glass bottles on the floor as well.

Eventually, the pair made it into the kitchen and sat at the table. The purple mare grabbed a bottle on the table and held it to her lips. She down the rest of the contents of the bottle in one long go, and breathed out as she slammed the empty bottle onto the table. She suddenly looked up at Rainbow Dash as if she just noticed her.

"Who're you?" she asked in a dazed manner.

Rainbow Dash smiled her most friendliest smile and said, "I'm Rainbow Dash. I'm kinda your daughter's role model."

Scootaloo's mother blinked her eyes. "Role model?"

Dash nodded, "Yeah. She really looks up to me. We hang out all the time."

The older mare put a hoof to her head and said, "I. . .I . .she didn't tell me. . .I think?"

Dash suddenly smacked her lips and said, "Hey, while we're talking, how about we both have a little something to drink. Something to get us sociable and all that. I really want to get to know the mom of my number one fan."

Mrs. Songbreeze nodded her head, "Oh yeah, drink, sounds good." The mare walked over to the refrigerator, opened it, and took out two more brown bottles.

Dash nodded as the mare approached with the drinks. Rainbow had spent a few days last week testing her tolerance to the stuff. She now knew how much of that stuff she could handle, and she had planned accordingly for this venture into the house of Mrs. Songbreeze.

The mare handed Dash the bottle, and she opened her own bottle and took a long swig. Dash only took a small sip, but Mrs. Songbreeze didn't seem to notice.

"So. . ." Dash said as she gathered her thoughts together, "Scootaloo is an interesting filly."

"Yeah. . .interesting," Mrs. Songbreeze remarked.

"She wants her Cutie Mark real bad," Rainbow Dash commented dryly as she stared at her bottle, "She thinks learning how to fly would help her get closer to getting it. What do you think?"

"Flying. . ." the mother replied, "Her father. . .teaches flying to her, I'm sure."

"Does he?" Rainbow asked as she took another sip of her drink, but kept the bottle to her lips for a long moment to emphasize it. She smacked her lips and said, "Think about it?"

Mrs. Songbreeze did think about it, which caused her to sip at her drink, and then tip the end of the bottle up and drain the whole thing.

"Yes," she said finally as she blinked her glossy eyes, "Her father teaches her. Everyday."

Dash put on a fake smile and said, "Yup. And she gets better everyday. She did real good today. Really, really, really good. All thanks to her dad! I propose a toast!"

"Toast. . ." the mare replied as she looked into her empty bottle. "A toast," she said again as she knocked the empty bottle onto the floor and started to get up.

"Don't get up, I got you covered," Rainbow Dash said with a sly smirk as she pulled out a tall drinking glass and a big brown round bottle with dark brown liquid inside.

Mrs. Songbreeze's eyes widened when she saw the label. She smiled stupidly and said, "How did you know my favorite brand?"

"_Somepony_ told me," Dash replied.

"Don't get much often. Too expensive," the mare replied as she watched Rainbow Dash poor a tall glass of the stuff. The rainbow mare pushed it over to her, and she deftly caught it in her hooves.

Rainbow picked up the smaller bottle Songbreeze gave her and said, "A toast. To Scootaloo's flight!"

The two ponies clinked bottle and glass, and they drank to it. Rainbow Dash took a normal sized gulp, but Songbreeze drank down nearly three quarters of the strong liquid in her tall glass.

"Scootaloo. . .Scootaloo. . .Scootaloo. . ." she said, "Running around. . .flying around. . .house. .. home. . ."

"She has nice friends too," Rainbow Dash interjected, "Let me tell you. . ."

* * *

Rainbow Dash talked on and on about Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Button Mash and all the misadventures they had together that they called "Cutie Mark Crusades." During this talk, Rainbow Dash refilled Mrs. Songbreeze's glass several times so they could carry out toasts "to the Crusaders", "to Cutie Marks," "to Twilight Time," and "to the Magic of Friendship."

Mrs. Songbreeze was chuckling slightly, her eyes fully glazed over, but still showed signs of awareness. Dash had finished her bottle, and had drank one glass of the strong stuff she brought. She knew now was the time to really begin.

"It's not easy doing it alone, is it?" Rainbow Dash said nonchalantly.

"Huh?" the mother slurred.

"I mean, ya know, with you husband gone," Rainbow said sympathetically.

The mare just shook her head, "No. . .no he's not gone. He never left. He's here. He's here. He's always been here. . ."

"Are you sure?" Rainbow asked, "Because that's not what _Scootaloo_ told me."

**_BANG!_**

Mrs. Songbreeze slammed her hoof on the kitchen table in anger. She attempted to stand up, but wobbled and fell back into her chair. "She shouldn't say such things about her father!" she hissed, her drunken eyes wide and excited, "She shouldn't say it! It's bad luck! It's disrespectful! Bad, bad, bad, bad, disgraceful."

Rainbow Dash nodded her head, "Yeah. . .yeah she is. . .yeah she is. . ."

"Huh?" the mare said in a dizzy sounding voice.

"Scootaloo," Rainbow Dash said, "You are right. Scootaloo. Bad. Disgraceful. Disrespectful. _Bad luck_."

The mother just blinked.

"Look around," Rainbow said in a straight and slightly stern tone of voice, "What do you see?"

Mrs. Songbreeze obeyed.

"A big mess, right?"

The purple mare nodded as she looked at all the dust and garbage.

"Children always make messes. Makes sense, right?" Rainbow Dash asked.

The mare just shrugged.

"Getting thirsty here," Dash said as she poured into her own glass, and then leaned forward to fill Mrs. Songbreeze's glass to the brim. She watched as the older mare guzzled down the dark brown brew. She frowned and said as seriously as she could, "She said your husband is dead. Scootaloo said that. _Scootaloo_ says your husband is dead. Is he dead?"

"No-no-no-no-no-**_NO!_**" the mare shouted, and she gulpedi down the remainder of her drink.

"Mrs. Songbreeze," Rainbow Dash said, leaning in close to the purple mare's face, "Tell me. Think this through. Tell me the truth. You have a choice. Either Scootaloo or alco- _er_- your husband. Which one do you want? Daughter or husband? Who do you want more?"

Songbreeze stared at Rainbow with her wide drunken eyes. They may have been glazed over, but Rainbow Dash could just make out the inklings of a thought process working behind those eyes. Within her drunken state, the honest truth in her heart and mind was stripped of all guises and left exposed. The influence of society and the norms no longer existed to her. At this time, only one pony existed in the universe, and that was her. However, she didn't want to be alone. She wanted one other pony.

"Husband. . .where is he? He should be here. I want him," the drunken mare moaned.

Rainbow Dash felt a surge of pure disgust grow inside of her. However, she had expected this far in advance, and was able to contain her rage.

"You shouldn't have to go through this," Dash said, "Scootaloo makes things _sooooooooooo_ difficult for you. Her bad luck keeps you and your husband apart, right?"

Mrs. Songbreeze nodded.

"I can help you," Dash said, and she reached into her saddle bags and pulled out a stack of official looking documents. She placed the papers on the table, and then took out a quill and bottle of ink and placed it next to the documents. "Scootaloo will be _happy_ with me. She'll live in my _happy_ cloud house. You will be_happy_ as you drink with your _husband_. You won't have to think about Scootaloo. Only your _husband_ and you. You and _he_ will be _happy_ together."

Dash dipped the quill in the ink and leaned close to Mrs. Songbreeze with an inviting smile, "_Just. Sign. Here."_ Rainbow Dash slipped the quill in between the mare's purple hooves.

Mrs. Songbreeze stared hard at the quill, and then at the space on the bottom of the document.

"Well?" Rainbow Dash said as she poured the last of the dark brown elixir into Mrs. Songbreeze's glass.

The mare looked into the dark brown liquid. Within that liquid, she could just make out the image of her husband. She then turned to the document, and with the quill held securely in her hooves, she began to make her mark on the paper.

"Pay attention!" Rainbow Dash said loudly, but not so loud that it surprised the other mare, "Focus. Focus now! You need to sign it right." Rainbow smiled excitedly in anticipation as her heart thumped loudly, "Do it right, and everypony gets _happy_."

Mrs. Songbreeze's eyes focused on the document, and she moved the inked quill across the paper, forming her signature over the line. Rainbow Dash held her breath as the mare slowly signed her name, keeping her drunken hooves from shaking out of pure force of will. Finally, after a few tense seconds, it was done.

Rainbow Dash quickly snatched up the documents, making sure not to smear the ink. "Thank you," she said, and she quickly turned to leave. However, she stopped short of the door and turned around. "You know, you may be drunk right now, but that doesn't change the fact that you truly _want _this in your heart," the rainbow pegasus said, "And you know what else? Long before you signed this paper, long before I knew what you were doing to Scootaloo, long before I even met Scootaloo; you had already traded your daughter away. And what did you trade her for?"

Rainbow Dash pointed at the glass full of alcohol sitting on the kitchen table next to the wide eyed mare.

"_That's_ what you traded her for," Dash said angrily. However, she quickly calmed herself and said, "Well, I hope you're happy. I know Scoot's and I will be. Oh, and just to let you know, I got Scootaloo's okay to do this."

And with that, Rainbow Dash left the house.

The drunken widow stared after Rainbow Dash for a while, until the stare devolved into a stare into space. Then, she picked up the glass, drank down its contents, and fell out of her chair and onto the floor.

**THE END**


End file.
